I have stopped writing in this blog. Now I write in another blog and it is about balanced mind. If you want to find the tips to have a balanced mind then do visit this link Balanced Mind

May all be happy :)

Unrealistic Optimism..!!!

Dear diary,

There are so many thoughts in my head that I would like to share with you. I wanted to write an article on it but it seems like I have lost my touch in this area. I feel more relaxed at writing when it's personal and not something I write as a third person. 

From the past few experiences I have started to realize that how it is tough to fulfill our dreams and goals. I have always been an optimistic person with lot of dreams and goals to fulfill. There are some things that I want to learn for a long time and I had lots of time to work hard and learn those things. But like always I have not been able to start with those things. I do feel little disappointed in myself for not doing the things I wanted to do  but there is still hope of doing it and accomplish my little dream. This optimism never leaves and I wait for the next right moment when I could do the things I want to do. And this circle keeps on repeating with a never dying optimism.

There are lots of people in this world who want to improve themselves in certain area, or like me want to learn something but are not able to start with it or leaves it in mid way. Then as a result some quits and some numbs that part of themselves which longed to do it. I am lucky in one thing that I am optimistic although it is unrealistic optimism in my case but still it helps me in not giving up on that thing. Although I may not be doing anything towards that dream of mine but at least it will stay in my head telling me how much I want it and someday I will overcome all the barriers and will fulfill my little dream in reality. 

Not everyone succeed in one go, for some there seems to be never ending tries to reach to final destination. So never give up, if there are so many failures  but if it's your dream then give it a pause but never quit because someday you will create a miracle and you wouldn't know how but you will create it. You may think that it is my unrealistic optimism speaking but believe me miracles do happen.  :) 

Last time together..!!!

To every moment that passes by,
To every breath that is taken in,
I wish to do something,
That does not make them a waste,

But the moment passes,
Time flies,
Still there is no activity,
That could save this sinking soul,

It's not I don't try,
It's just, not enough,
Every night I make a promise,
Tomorrow will be the day,
When u and me will create a magic,
As this is our last chance,

Last chance to fight together,
Last chance to win together..!

Temporary Happiness...!

Hello to all those who are reading my blog(if there is any!). Well sometimes I use this blog to vent out my personal thoughts in the form of 'Dear Diary', as there are not much readers and I have started liking it that way. So today I want to talk about something called 'Internal Happiness'. Well it may sound like a spiritual post, like I am preaching the teaching of internal happiness and inner peace, but don't you worry, I am no preacher as I am still learning to live a happy life.

It's been months, I have been trying to find happiness and like most of the times I do get it but for temporary. Now when this temporary happiness fades away, the hunt begins to find happiness again. The void that it filled, it rejuvenates, leaving a suffering me. In a day there are so many moments, like fun with friends and family, playing, being in a competition and winning it. All these moments gives happiness and are fully savored, they not gonna last for long and when they will get over, I will be back to the suffering me.
I look at  my friends and other people around me. All are suffering, some with boyfriend/girlfriend issues, some with job/money issues, some with being recognized among the crowd and some with making both ends meet. Like me, they too enjoy in the moments and forget their pain and sufferings for a while, as all it takes to live a happy moment is to be in the present without worrying about the future. But unlike all my friends, my suffering is the result of those very moments that give me happiness. As the moments pass, happiness too passes, leaving the suffering me.

Like I mentioned that it's been months, I have been trying to find happiness and I am failing, but like a pure sagittarian, I am an optimistic person and try to find new ways to attain that happiness, that would stay and fill the void forever. Well in my search of this happiness, I try to undertake lot of adventures, like learning singing, composing, researching, experimenting, playing instruments, learning martial arts (which I want to but not done yet, but someday I will), meditating (trying to unravel the spiritual me and new dimensions if they exist) and lot more. But all this goes in vain, as like every time, I just become the victim of these moments. When these moments arrive, I am at my best and it feels like being the happiest person and it will last forever. But soon after sometime this euphoria settles and I am back to the suffering me. It feels like being played by your own happiness.

Life is grateful to me when it comes to materialism, or social life. But no matter how much successful you might be or how much appreciated you might be, inside there is still an unquenchable thirst, making you suffer  constantly and putting you on a hunt for happiness.

All I wish now is for a miracle, which helped me in my past, to take me out of this misery and let me come back to my sweet home, where I can sleep like a child forever. (If someone did read it, then don't think of sleeping like a child forever as a metaphor to death but it depicts the peace and I wish for this peace to stay forever once I get it.)

But it still feels like...!

So many things are bought,
So many moments are captured,
Friends made,
Happiness shared,

But it still feels like
Nothing happened,
No happiness was gained,
No memory was created,

So many obstacles were overcome,
From failure, success was achieved,
So many moments to feel blessed,
To be thankful and be happy,


But it still feels like
Nothing happened,
No happiness was gained,
No memory was created,

It still feels normal,
Like life is just moving
From present to future,
Creating a past of blank roll,
On which moments were captured
But never appeared when it was developed...!

In the Blues...!

In the blues, there was a light,
A light that spoke of solace,
I wish I could shine in that light,
Taste the clarity, it promised,
But as it went on, it grew more intense,

The clarity I seek for, turned to blind me,
Shutting my eyes, taking me

BACK TO THE BLUES...!

Wake up..!

Hello everyone. I am the writer of this blog and all the post are the outcome of the emotions I am sailing at the time of writing, My life has been a roller coaster ride and like another rider I have seen the ups and down phases of this ride. Sometimes its amazing but at the other moment its not what you dream of. Joy and sorrow, happiness and numbness not always feel the same.
Like I said this blog is like a ocean and every post in it is a tide depicting the rise and fall of my emotions. While writing this post my eyes are closed and I am listening to the song, 'Reborn' by Klak Tik. It goes with the line that, "I thought I really knew what freedom really means" and one more line saying that, "and I have finally woken up to the beauty of the world through a love song". I have started liking this song as the song gives me the hope that I can wake up to the beauty of life. Emotions right now are entangled, life seems to be at pause, like it still is sleeping and I am anxiously waiting for it to wake up, open it's eyes and see the bright sun in the clear blue sky.

I wish to wake up,
As I've been sleeping for a month,
Wish to feel the rush of energy,
The rush of warmth,
Like this song,
I wish to wake up,
Through a love song...
   

As this year starts....!

As this year starts,
I start my new journey,
I step into a world,
A world, where now, I belong,
Where the dreams will be turned to reality,

As this year starts,
I recreate myself again,
Finishing all the incomplete work,
I create the new me,

As this year starts,
New dreams are formed,
And the older one's are realised,
Some may not be completed,
And some may die,

But as the new year starts,
I back myself again,
To rise and shine,
To dream of new things,
And with all enthusiasm,
Fulfilling them all...

As this year starts,
I dream again!!

Hey! everyone..Merry Christmas to all of U,

May all ur dreams come true,

May this winter heralds the best spring of ur life,

May the world live in peace,

And Happiness stays with us forever,

Merry Christmas!!

Moments..!!

Life is about getting what we want. It's about the joy we want, it's about the happiness we want, about the smiles on our loved ones that we want. Life is all about what makes us happy, makes us full. makes our heart beat. Life is all about what we want. It's bright, sunny and beautiful. It's full of amazing people,  our family, our friends, all those who are the part of our life and makes life complete and worth living.
Life is like that beautiful ray of sunset, which won't last for long but we want to  make it last, knowing it's impossible but try our best. We sit in the sunshine, soaking in it, click the picture of that moment and make it stay forever in our memory. Life is worth living in the moment. No moment will stay for long so try to make the best memory of it coz life is beautiful and beauty won't remain same throughout it's own natural phases.
Life is beautiful. It is also like that rainy day, where we look at the rain from our window and wonder why the clouds are crying. Are these the tears of joy or the tears of sorrow. Like other moments, we savor it. Make a hot cup of coffee and taste it as that moment we know will also pass, just like the sunset.
It's the moments, that life is all about. We know they will pass and we keep a memory of it. Life is great and for a matter of fact it's beautiful. Loneliness may be seen by many as a depressing moment but it is also one of the moments to be cherished as it also won't last for long. Any moment, be it good or bad, won't stay for long. So try to live in the good moment and hope for the better in the bad one.
So at the end I would say to myself, life is fair and it will always be, no matter how many failures I have to go through, how many rejections I have to face, but in the end I will always have a smile on my face coz moments won't last longer and they will pass.
Ending my article with a quote  of mine:-

It's not about cherries on the chocolate pastry that would make a kid smile,

But it's the memories related to it that would make her smile,

Coz the moments pass quickly, But not the memories...!!

Behind these Bars..!

Story of a blue bird..(continued)

“Hi!” Tyra greeted Novak. “Didn’t you give it a shot today?” Novak said jokingly. “I thought that I should not waste time in my fruitless tries.” Tyra replied. Tyra couldn’t sleep last night as she was so excited to meet Novak again. There was something about him that she couldn’t resist. He was a mystery to her and she wanted to know him more. “So why you want to know what’s beyond the sky?” Novak asked her. “It’s just the curiosity.” Tyra replied. Novak knew the truth and asked her, “Is it solely your curiosity which had led you to fly in the sky throughout your life? Or is it something much deeper?” Tyra sensed the seriousness in Novak’s voice. She realised that Novak was not just a stranger but he knew her too well, but how? “Tell me what’s beyond the sky.” “Nothing, just an empty space.” Novak replied. “You won’t find the one you have been looking for, for so long there.” “Then where will I find the answers these voices haunt me with?” Tyra asked desperately. “Can you swim?” Novak asked jokingly. Tyra was getting angry now. “The one you are looking for can not be found outside. You have to swim inside yourself and find the answers. Close your eyes and feel yourself. You won’t feel empty” Novak said meeting Tyra’s gaze. “It’s tough but you can do it.” “I don’t understand.” Tyra looked confusing. To her nothing of this made sense. Novak had feared this as she was just a bird. But he had planted the seed. “You talk rubbish. I should have never listened to you. You are wrong about the sky. You don’t have wings like me so you can’t fly and know what’s beyond the sky” Tyra said angrily. She was disappointed. She had come with hope and now Novak was nothing but someone who was crazier than her. She flew away. Novak knew that this would happen. He felt sad but he knew that Tyra would have a better life now.
Weather suddenly changed. It seemed like universe was also angry. The clear blue sky soon got filled with dark grey clouds. Wind started blowing much faster. Tyra didn’t notice any of this as she was filled with anger and her eyes were full of tears. Her society had made fun of her, called her crazy but none of it hurt her. But today was different. The person she thought knew her and shared her dream had made a fool of her feelings. Thundering had started and she should soon get back home. But Tyra’s judgement was clouded by her anger. She had never been hurt so much before. “I will show you what’s beyond the sky Novak. I am no fool like you think. You can’t fly but I can and I will find out. I don’t need anybody’s help. Every one is a fake. ” Tyra said out loud and flew up with all her strength. She was not going back home. She was going up, up in the sky to find out the truth. The wind had grown more fierce, throwing Tyra here and there in the sky. But Tyra was more determined and kept flying. Fierce wind soon turned into a deadly storm. There was no bird in the sky as it was deadly to be there in the sky. Sky had turned into a deathly trap for all those who found their freedom in it. It had started raining, but Tyra wasn’t going to give up. For her, death was more peaceful. The best way she had planned for her to die was while fighting for her dream and today seemed the perfect way to say goodbye to her life. It was raining and thundering, storm was raging hitting Tyra so hard that her wings were helpless to balance her. As she falls from the sky, she closed her eyes and it was Novak she thought about. With her eyes closed, waiting for death to come, she could feel something inside her. She was swimming, swimming inside her. But it was short and she hit the ground. It seemed like universe had heard her conversation with her grandmother about life and death and gave her the death, the way she had wanted, dying while fighting for her dream.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary..Will u listen the story of a Bird?

Dear diary,
Something is going inside me. A wind is blowing and it is taking me with it to different places but like every other dust particle caught up in it, I am also rotating and am in a state where I seek for stability. Dear diary, what is life? Is it a word which means to survive or is it a word which has deeper meaning like having a life in itself. Dear diary,the world is coming to a fatal end and I haven’t yet caught the glimpse of who I am. It’s like being in an ocean and yet not seen the reflection of yourself in it.

Dear diary, will u listen a story of a Blue Bird? 
Her name was Tyra and she was a beautiful blue bird with feathers so soft that she was called a soft candy. She was very pretty and fly in the open sky. She loved the sky so much that she never come up the ground until her wings start hurting. She was a passionate bird having the curiosity of reaching to the topmost level of the sky. For her, life was like a gift and she never wanted to waste it. She used to think that if nature has given her wings then why not she try to find out her creator who is somewhere behind the sky. All the friends of Tyra were more of usual chaps who were more spirited for winning the challenges which were put by the society. For them life was a circle encompassing their family, society and their friends. Tyra was just the opposite of what others were. She never liked her society as she found them and their rules mere subjected to their thinking and ease. She never understood the rituals, the curses. All she was curious about was the mystery behind the sky. Throughout her life she kept on trying to find out what was behind the sky until she met Novak. Novak was the person who saw in Tyra the zeal and the determination to be free. He had known Tyra long before they had even met.
Novak was a farmer ad he used to work on the corn field of his father. He was a simple human being who lived his life in peace as he knew the secret behind the sky. One day while Tyra had exhausted her wings by flying for several hours in search of reaching to the top of the sky, the winds had blown her towards the country side. She was resting on the head of a scarecrow when Novak saw her. He knew her the moment he saw her and offered her the water. Tyra exhausted by her effortless tries drank the water and said the man thank you and flew away. Novak saidw elcome and went back to do his work. He was smiling as he knew she would come again.
The next day Tyra was again sitting on the head of the scarecrow when Novak came and offered her water. Tyra was curious to know why the man always bring water for her, as she knew one thing about humans that they will always approach towards the birds with a word, ‘shoo’ on their tongue. She said thank you and couldn’t stop herself from asking that why he was acting unlike the other humans and shoo her away. “Who are you?” Tyra asked curiously. “I am Novak” Novak replied smilingly. “I am a farmer and I work here”. “Why you give me water every time I come here?” Tyra after all asked the question which was bothering her. Novak had known that she would ask this and said smilingly, “Did you found out what’s beyond the sky?” Tyra was shocked by the question which Novak had asked and with a moment of annoyance filled with curiosity, she asked him how he knew.
Novak had seen beyond the beautiful feathery skin of hers, the soul which denied remembering him but he did. “Just guessed”, Novak said jokingly. Tyra wasn’t satisfied with the answer but couldn’t argue with him as it was growing darker and she had to head back home. She thanked for the water and flew away.
That night it was raining and while Tyra was in her nest trying to sleep, her thoughts were consumed by the question, “Did u found what’s beyond the sky?” which Novak had asked her. She was annoyed with him as she could sense the mockery in his question. Everyone to whom Tyra have told her deepest desire of knowing what is beyond the sky, have made fun of her. Even the closest friend of Tyra, though not much closer, thinks of her as a crazy blue bird.
...................To Be Comtinued

'Dear Diary'

Don't know how many of you are reading my blog but as my father says that never concern yourself with the number and keep on writing coz someday it will be read. So here I am again with an article about my life.
To the outside world, my life may seem to be perfect and yeah, logically thinking, my life is perfect with a perfect combination of every thing one desires in his or her life. I have great friends who are there with me when I need them, in my happiness as well as in my sadness. I have a wonderful, supporting family. I am an engineering student and will be a graduate next year and talking about being perfect I will have job in my hand once I am a graduate. What else one need to call his or her life perfect!

But still here I am writing about my life as it is still incomplete, still it feels like something is missing and my life is not perfect. There's  no happiness among these complete things and still I find myself searching for something I do not know. All my well wishers are proud of me and all my enemies are jealous of me but here I am still not knowing what am I missing.
Life has always been a mystery for me and I have always believed that time is the only one that can solve this mystery. My patience is wearing out and now people can see behind the mask of happiness and fulfillment, the vulnerable me, the empty me.
I wrote this article coz I know not many people visit my blog so I can still refer to it as my 'Dear Diary'.

EMPTINESS...!

I write about something I feel inside,

I write about, emptiness,

I pretend to be interested in the work am doing,

I pretend to be, fine,

I write about something I feel inside,

I write about emptiness,

They find my life so charming, 

That they can not see this rootless tree,

They are so engrossed in the my outer charms,

That they forget the real me,

The work I do, I get so much praise,

But it do not touch my heart,

They call me so lucky, so complete,

But am still hanging in the middle of nowhere,

I write about something I feel inside,

I write about emptiness....

The setting sun, the coming darkness..

As this sunshine fades away,
The sun sets and the night comes,
I woke up from a dream,
A dream that felt so real,
A dream where I was shining like a golden bird,
Whatever I wished for, I got,
Whatever I worked for, it happened,
But it was a dream,
I came to know when I woke up,

The sun rays are changing their course,
As the sun is setting, they too are are fading,
But with the coming darkness,
I still got the stars and the moon to look forward to,

Setting sun has its own beauty,
Unlike the rising sun,
It's rays are more nostalgic,
It reminds me of my childhood,
Which faded with the setting sun,,
It reminds me about the present moment,
Which will fade with this setting sun,

But with the coming darkness,
I still got  the stars and the moon to look forward to...!!

Found..!!

Last night I made a decision,
To seek a reason for all my pain,
I wandered around the world,
I wandered to every place,

Reasons that what I wanted,
Answers to all those why,
Why I've been so sad,
Why I've been so lonely,

So much pain inside,
So much pain outside, why
So many people around me,
So many friends around me, but why,

Why I'm still so sad,
Why I'm still so lonely,

I went to a place where I can feel solace,
It was calm and beautiful,
I've never seen such a beauty,
Got all my answers of why,
Reasons for which I've wandered so long,

All my loneliness,
All my emptiness fone,
At last I found a place,
Where I can be so happy,

I'm so sorry,
For all those times,
Blaming you for all my pain,

Probelems were not putside me,
Reasons were not outside me,
Now i know,
It's all inside me,
Love, Happiness, Peace,

U have no power to hurt me,
U have no power to break me,
Coz it's not U who rules,
But it's me, Master of My Life,

Found the reasons,
Found all those answers of why,
Life is a miracle,
It's not outside, but inside me,

At last, found that place inside,
Found that place for which I wandered outside,
I'm so sorry,
For blaming you all the time,

At last, found that place inside,
Found that place for which I wandered outside...!

I'll take a flight

When the day sets,
I settle down with my wings,
Coz tomorrow will come,
And I'll take a flight,

In the open sky,
Where the sun is shining bright,
And the birds are chirping,
And the clouds are swimming,
In the open sky,

I'm walking on the road,
Which takes me to my destiny,
As they call, My destiny,
I keep miving, and keep looking around me,
Coz life has so much to show,

Some call it madness, some call it bad luck,
But unlike them, I call it living,
With every strike, my wings grow,
 With every breath, they strive for freedom,
As the day passes they keep growing,
Coz tomorrow will come,

And i'll take a flight....

Wish U were real..!

Sometimes I wish miracles were true,
They could be easily done,
Sometimes I wish u were real,
N come to heal my pain,
Sometimes I wish I was not alone,
That u were real and would give me ur shoulder to cry,
Sometimes I wish that u were real...

There are times when darkness surrounds,
The streets are empty,
and m walking alone,
On the road that keeps heading nowhere,
Sometimes I wish miracles were true,
And they could easily be done,
Sometimes i wish I wasn't alone,
That u were real,
That the magic I wish for,
U n me will create,
That I was not alone,
Yeah seroiusly I wish
That miracles were true,
That u were real

And i wasn't alone...!!

Life u are stupid...!!

Life you are stupid,
U dont listen to me,
When I want someone,
U giv me loneliness,
When I want to cry,
U take away my tears,
Life you are very rude...
I don't know how you can do this,
But every time I look back at the things u've done,
I see the irony in my thoughts and actions,
My thoughts still revolves around telling u,
That u are stupid, rude and cold,
But my actions now adjust with the friend u gave,
Loneliness, yeah, definately my friend,
And moreover I see myself stronger than the rest,
When they cry, I smile,
Coz u took away my tears long time ago,
Life u are stupid,
U dont listen to me properly,
But maybe this is what I'm supposed to be,
I dont blame u but still u are stupid,
Maybe u will know it,
Maybe someone will love u too,
Maybe then u will realize it,
That life u are stupid...!!