Hello to all those who are reading my blog(if there is any!). Well sometimes I use this blog to vent out my personal thoughts in the form of 'Dear Diary', as there are not much readers and I have started liking it that way. So today I want to talk about something called 'Internal Happiness'. Well it may sound like a spiritual post, like I am preaching the teaching of internal happiness and inner peace, but don't you worry, I am no preacher as I am still learning to live a happy life.
It's been months, I have been trying to find happiness and like most of the times I do get it but for temporary. Now when this temporary happiness fades away, the hunt begins to find happiness again. The void that it filled, it rejuvenates, leaving a suffering me. In a day there are so many moments, like fun with friends and family, playing, being in a competition and winning it. All these moments gives happiness and are fully savored, they not gonna last for long and when they will get over, I will be back to the suffering me.
I look at my friends and other people around me. All are suffering, some with boyfriend/girlfriend issues, some with job/money issues, some with being recognized among the crowd and some with making both ends meet. Like me, they too enjoy in the moments and forget their pain and sufferings for a while, as all it takes to live a happy moment is to be in the present without worrying about the future. But unlike all my friends, my suffering is the result of those very moments that give me happiness. As the moments pass, happiness too passes, leaving the suffering me.
Like I mentioned that it's been months, I have been trying to find happiness and I am failing, but like a pure sagittarian, I am an optimistic person and try to find new ways to attain that happiness, that would stay and fill the void forever. Well in my search of this happiness, I try to undertake lot of adventures, like learning singing, composing, researching, experimenting, playing instruments, learning martial arts (which I want to but not done yet, but someday I will), meditating (trying to unravel the spiritual me and new dimensions if they exist) and lot more. But all this goes in vain, as like every time, I just become the victim of these moments. When these moments arrive, I am at my best and it feels like being the happiest person and it will last forever. But soon after sometime this euphoria settles and I am back to the suffering me. It feels like being played by your own happiness.
Life is grateful to me when it comes to materialism, or social life. But no matter how much successful you might be or how much appreciated you might be, inside there is still an unquenchable thirst, making you suffer constantly and putting you on a hunt for happiness.
All I wish now is for a miracle, which helped me in my past, to take me out of this misery and let me come back to my sweet home, where I can sleep like a child forever. (If someone did read it, then don't think of sleeping like a child forever as a metaphor to death but it depicts the peace and I wish for this peace to stay forever once I get it.)
It's been months, I have been trying to find happiness and like most of the times I do get it but for temporary. Now when this temporary happiness fades away, the hunt begins to find happiness again. The void that it filled, it rejuvenates, leaving a suffering me. In a day there are so many moments, like fun with friends and family, playing, being in a competition and winning it. All these moments gives happiness and are fully savored, they not gonna last for long and when they will get over, I will be back to the suffering me.
I look at my friends and other people around me. All are suffering, some with boyfriend/girlfriend issues, some with job/money issues, some with being recognized among the crowd and some with making both ends meet. Like me, they too enjoy in the moments and forget their pain and sufferings for a while, as all it takes to live a happy moment is to be in the present without worrying about the future. But unlike all my friends, my suffering is the result of those very moments that give me happiness. As the moments pass, happiness too passes, leaving the suffering me.
Like I mentioned that it's been months, I have been trying to find happiness and I am failing, but like a pure sagittarian, I am an optimistic person and try to find new ways to attain that happiness, that would stay and fill the void forever. Well in my search of this happiness, I try to undertake lot of adventures, like learning singing, composing, researching, experimenting, playing instruments, learning martial arts (which I want to but not done yet, but someday I will), meditating (trying to unravel the spiritual me and new dimensions if they exist) and lot more. But all this goes in vain, as like every time, I just become the victim of these moments. When these moments arrive, I am at my best and it feels like being the happiest person and it will last forever. But soon after sometime this euphoria settles and I am back to the suffering me. It feels like being played by your own happiness.
Life is grateful to me when it comes to materialism, or social life. But no matter how much successful you might be or how much appreciated you might be, inside there is still an unquenchable thirst, making you suffer constantly and putting you on a hunt for happiness.
All I wish now is for a miracle, which helped me in my past, to take me out of this misery and let me come back to my sweet home, where I can sleep like a child forever. (If someone did read it, then don't think of sleeping like a child forever as a metaphor to death but it depicts the peace and I wish for this peace to stay forever once I get it.)
Well shruti, i dont think there is a thing like 'ever-lasting-happiness'.
ReplyDeleteThe void was always there,
that emptiness will be alwayz there in every heart...
I must here quote the opening lines of 'queen'(band) song..'the show must go on'..
"empty spaces..
What we are living for,
abondened places..
Does anybody know what we are looking for...."
hmmm...
This question is still haunting the world ....
So Shruti...lets enjoy the temporary happiness... :)
well u very well said that we r born with the void but atleast we can try to find a way of not dying with it.. otherwise it will be just us, the puppets played by every moment.. there is more to life it takes is to live in these empty spaces and look for the right thing that will fill it forever..
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